Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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