Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
