you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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