Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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