u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
