Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
