my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Randomize
