haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
