I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
