Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Randomize
