Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
We just shotgunned beers for America
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
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