So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize