Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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