wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
well most of my day revolves around power hour
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
