I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
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