and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
