quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
