All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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