O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Randomize
