meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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