Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
