When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
