I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
