remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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