what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
You smell like stripper and shame
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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