Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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