i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Randomize
