Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
