FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
She announced her abortion via fbk
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Randomize
