I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
