First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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