Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
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