Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
