I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
