Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
