Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
you had me at cake vodka
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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