My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
