Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
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