He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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