come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
