Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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