And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I need to align my fucking chakras
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
