tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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