yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I'm really busy with my period
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