he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I need moral support for this bender
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
