On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
