I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize