im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
