theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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