I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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