puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
