hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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