You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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