so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
