Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I can't turn off my feet"
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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