This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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